Friday, September 7, 2012

Count to 30 - #3.

I'm counting to my 30th birthday with 30 lists.  Here's #3.

3 Biggest Decisions of My Life

1.  This one has been a secret to blogland, mainly just because I didn't know how to bring it up.  The single biggest decision I've ever made was to get divorced.  Yes, I was married once, at a young 22, and it lasted just over 2 years.  In the end, our marriage counsellor described us as not just being on different pages, but in different books.  It was not a decision I took lightly, but it has made an astounding difference in my life and happiness.  It was also difficult because friends ended up choosing sides, my family was really upset with me for a long time, and of course ending a relationship is difficult.   
After the separation I found a diary entry from 6 weeks before the wedding that described every problem we would have, how I didn't want to regret my wedding day, and that no one would listen to me - they all said I was just stressed about the planning.   Things would have been very different if I had listened to my gut, but after invites are sent out, it's a really daunting thing.  In the end, it's a huge event that has helped me understand myself better and made me a stronger person - learning a lot about friends, relationships and self-respect.

2.  Directly impacted by #1 was my decision to move away from my hometown.  All of my family and close friends were there, and I always struggled to leave my grandpa who had Parkinson's Disease.  But the desire to have a fresh clean start and to pursue my dreams won out.  I'm so glad it did.  I've met so many great people and had opportunities that I would never have had.  I do miss having my family close by, but I also now feel that I couldn't ever move back.

3.  This one is more cheery.  The decision to spend a year living in France was the best one I've ever made.  If you've been reading the blog for a while, you know how much of a blast Steve and I had.  I'm grateful for the friends, the cultural experiences and what was essentially living the life lottery for a year.  I mean, living 5 mins from the beach on the Mediterranean, going to the Cannes Film Festival, buying groceries in Italy on a Friday afternoon... I need to go back. 

What's the biggest decision you've ever made?


  1. Man, you've been through a journey over the years. (Including a good few literal ones.) Funny looking back, having known you through all this.

    Moving on past a part of your life like you did always involves a ton of complications, especially in your situation, but I know you're stronger and happier for it now. It can be hard to clearly see where you are when you're invested and wrapped up in someone else and others' expectations of you, even when deep down you know it's not working. I've been there, not to the same level as you, but I know the feeling. It's hard, damn hard, but nothing I've experienced beats that feeling you get once you've built yourself back up, earned your happiness and self respect, yourself, on your own terms.

    (...huh, I think I sort of just answered your open question?)

  2. WOW! Thats a pretty big decision but I'm so glad you listened to your heart! I can't even imagine how hard that would have been. I'm in school full time now so I have a bit more free time on my hands if you ever wanted to grab a drink or something sometime. xo

  3. It takes guts to share stuff like that. You did what was best for you, despite what others were thinking and saying (that still has a huge effect on me - I'm always worrying what others might think of me, and I need to stop). Just imagine where your life would be if you didn't do what was best for you.

    You are stronger for it.


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